Cult survivor's love for father: Forgiving the unforgivable

A person who now goes by Yaya DeCloud, age 42, has finally opened up about the nightmarish experiences of being held captive within a religious cult overseen by their own parent, Nelson DeCloud. Yaya was brought into this world as a male child on December 14th, 1981, but was compelled to reside in an intensely regulated communal arrangement alongside roughly 30 other individuals collectively dubbed the "DeCloud family." This assemblage maintained an exceedingly isolated existence, seldom if ever venturing beyond the boundaries of their secluded compound.

Nelson DeCloud, formerly employed in law enforcement, assumed the mantle of spiritual leader and exploited this position of influence to perpetrate heinous acts, subjecting cult members to kidnapping, sexual violation, and psychological manipulation. His reign of depravity persisted until 1993, when he was apprehended and ultimately condemned to 220 years of incarceration for grievous transgressions encompassing kidnapping, unlawful confinement, rape, and forcible sodomy.

However, even while incarcerated, Nelson retained dominion over the cult through coded communications, sustaining his control until Yaya and two siblings mustered the fortitude to abscond from the compound in December 2000. Pooling their paltry weekly allowances of $5 each, the siblings amassed a total of $40, which facilitated their daring nocturnal escape via taxi to a hotel in the nearby municipality of Jefferson City, Missouri.

Reflecting on that childhood entrapped within the cult, Yaya recounts an atmosphere permeated by trepidation, stringent discipline, and unwavering obedience to their parent's distorted interpretations of biblical scripture. She told SWNS "we remained sequestered, never venturing into the broader community. We conducted our own religious services and were forbidden from ever departing the premises," they recollect. "My parent governed every aspect of our existence; we perceived them as an emissary of God, and their words and actions were regarded as divine edicts." Any perceived infraction, no matter how trivial, could incite Nelson's brutal wrath and vicious outbursts of violence directed towards their own family members.

Despite the horrific maltreatment endured, Yaya maintains that their parent's motives stemmed from a misguided yet profoundly held religious conviction rather than purely malevolent intent. "I am convinced they harbored love for us, but even the slightest transgression would provoke explosive rage," they assert. "While I have been made aware of the terrible acts my parent may have committed, their behavior was rooted in control and manipulation through the misapplication of biblical teachings. However, I genuinely believe they held firm to the validity of their proclamations. They were raised in the Southern Baptist tradition, and my grandparent served as a preacher in Kansas City."

Within the cult compound, the DeCloud children received a rudimentary education encompassing subjects like mathematics, English composition, and scientific studies, with Yaya's elder siblings assuming the role of makeshift instructors. However, any meaningful social interaction beyond the strictly insular group was strictly prohibited. "We remained in seclusion until my escape in 2000; our inability to forge friendships outside the cult was a significant factor driving our desperation to depart," Yaya elucidates. The sole link to the outside world manifested through Nelson's coded messages from prison, employing a system of pager numbers to covertly communicate with Yaya's grandmother and maintain their oppressive control over the remaining cult members.

In a final poignant encounter shortly before Nelson's demise in 2014 due to terminal illness, Yaya and their siblings were granted the opportunity to visit them in prison and bid their parent a final farewell. "When it came down to it, they were my parent, and I still loved them," they profess. "When we all arrived, we expressed our goodbyes, formed a circle, and offered a parting prayer for them. Afterward, we shared a meal together and then parted ways." It was a complex, emotionally charged moment of closure with the person who had robbed them of their childhoods yet remained an inextricable part of their lives.

After enduring decades of psychological torment and sexual abuse at the hands of their cult leader parent, Yaya has exhibited remarkable resilience in breaking free to live authentically as their true self. Following Nelson's passing and the dissolution of their marriage, they summoned the courage to publicly embrace their identity as a transwoman in 2019. "I became aware of my transgender identity when I was around 13 or 14 years old, but it was an aspect of myself I never felt capable of fully manifesting until now," Yaya reveals. "Presently, I am unattached and reveling in the most fulfilling life I could have envisioned – I couldn't be more content."