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'We Listen and We Don't Judge': The TikTok Trend Taking Relationship Confessions Too Far

TikTok TrendExplore the viral TikTok trend where couples reveal secrets, sparking debate on relationships and societal norms.Explore the viral TikTok trend where couples reveal secrets, sparking debate on relationships and societal norms.
January 31, 2025
Sirisha Dinavahi - LA Post

'We listen, and we don't judge' has become TikTok's most judged phrase of 2024. What started as couples sharing harmless confessions has evolved into a viral phenomenon that's exposing the uncomfortable underbelly of modern relationships – from strategic manipulation to casual deception. As millions of viewers watch partners reveal increasingly troubling behaviors, the trend has sparked a larger conversation about what we're willing to normalize in the name of entertainment

The confessions started innocently enough. Couples shared minor mishaps like covering ceiling holes with birthday decorations. But as the trend gained momentum, the revelations became increasingly concerning. Partners began admitting to secretly administering medications, deliberately avoiding household responsibilities, and manipulating each other in ways that left viewers more disturbed than entertained

Many men have been sharing "clever" ways to avoid domestic and emotional labor. Content creators Dave and Janie (@daveandjanie) highlighted this pattern when Dave admitted, "Sometimes I go in the bathroom and hide and pretend to go to the bathroom when I hear the chaos in the house just so you have to handle it and not me." While their account claims to depict "relatable married life," commenters responded critically, with one stating, "We listen, and we get divorced," and another noting, "He really loves to avoid you and the kids, eh lol."

Alex Quist of @thequistfamily demonstrated similar behavior, revealing, "I poured water inside of it so I can tell you it wasn't dry," regarding laundry avoidance. He also admitted to putting Miralax in his wife's coffee since she "usually forgets" to take it herself.

His wife Courtney's confession about having multiple dating partners help her move early in their courtship sparked controversy. "The moving confession was DIABOLICAL ☠️," one popular comment read, while another user wrote, "He was definitely judging, but inviting all the guys to move is definitely the smartest idea, haha."

The comments sections consistently reflect viewers' unease with the confessions. "May this love never find me" frequently appears under these TikToks, which have evolved from simple TL;DR explanations to reveal more complex relationship dynamics.

The viral phenomenon has generated discussion about boundaries and transparency in relationships. While some creators frame their content as entertainment, viewer responses suggest many find the revealed behaviors troubling rather than amusing.

Some participating couples maintain their videos depicting typical relationship moments. However, their use of the "🫠" emoji suggests the content may be created primarily for entertainment value rather than authentic relationship documentation.

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