"We're not posting that": The no-launch trend values privacy over likes

The social media world has ushered in a new age of sharing and interacting with others, but it has also sparked worries about privacy and its effects on intimate relationships. On Instagram, one new trend that has taken off is "No Launch," in which couples purposefully decide not to share information about their partner on social media. People who value privacy and wish to shield their relationships from outside criticism and judgment are curious about this dating trend.

The concept of a "No Launch" is straightforward – not launching your relationship online. In an article by Mashable, Tiffany Champion, a 28-year-old digital strategist and student astrologer in Brooklyn, and her husband, Harry Champion, a 28-year-old product manager, celebrated their five-year anniversary without sharing any photos of each other on social media. Instead, Tiffany only shared a discrete Instagram story with an image of a cake that read "Tiffany & Harry 5 Years." Unlike most social media users who provide a clear timeline of their relationship with photos and accompanying captions, Tiffany has never posted a single image of her husband on her Instagram grid, not even their engagement or wedding photos.

Tiffany and Harry's decision to "no-launch" their relationship is not rooted in shame or deceit, as some might assume. When they first started dating, Harry made it clear that he didn't want to be actively posted on Tiffany's social media to avoid outside voices sharing opinions about their union. "When I am private about my relationship and protective of my partner online, I feel like I am honoring his wish that he not be a character in my silly little universe," Tiffany explains to Mashable.

Sarah Bahbah, a 32-year-old artist and director in Los Angeles, also chose to keep her relationship off Instagram. Her now ex-boyfriend didn't have any social media because he was skeptical of the surveillance that comes with being a person online. "I didn't want to post him on there because I wanted to be respectful of his beliefs," she told Mashable. However, Sarah's decision was also influenced by her own desire to keep her relationship private, as she already shares a lot of her art and personal life online with her one million Instagram followers.

The practice of not posting your partner at all differs from the more popular versions of relationship launching, like hard-launching and soft-launching. Instead of posting a photo dump dedicated to your partner or sharing discrete photos of them to your grid or story, you don't post them at all. This trend has been embraced by celebrities for years, with paparazzi sightings and red-carpet attendance being the only way to confirm their relationship status.

Adelle Kelleher, a certified dating and relationship coach in Los Angeles and founder of Coaching Hearts Consulting, believes that this trend is not a new concept. "People have been doing this since the beginning of relationships, where they maybe [didn't] want to share private or intimate aspects of their personal life with other people," she says. Kelleher also sees the trend of posting less as healthier and more positive towards relationships.

Opting for a no-launch often causes others to assume that the person withholding their partner is cheating or acting with ill intentions. Still, Kelleher emphasizes that this is not the main reason couples choose this approach. Pressure from family to get married, disapproval from loved ones, and public scrutiny are a few reasons someone might decide to keep their relationship offline. "Sharing your relationship online adds a different and new level of commitment because then you become accountable," Kelleher explains. "If your friends know about the relationship, then they're going to want updates and know how things are going. But if you don't have that accountability, it takes away a lot of extra pressure and unnecessary stress on you and the relationship."

Bahbah agrees with the benefits of keeping a relationship private, stating, "I think the less people know, the better because it allows you to process your relationship in your own time and in private. It's important to grow away from the internet and not rely on public opinion and glorification of your relationship for it to thrive."

According to Kelleher, a no-launch is a great idea for a new relationship that is still trying to find its own foundation. "The more people you invite into the relationship, the more people have opinions and will say things that could get in your way," she says. Eliminating any opportunity for outside opinions during the beginning stages of a relationship allows couples to have a better understanding of their authentic feelings without external influences.

While sharing positive moments of a relationship online is not inherently bad, Kelleher suggests it should be reserved for established, long-term, committed relationships. "I think that if you're going to include someone, let's say, on your grid or social media, it should be someone that you know is going to be sticking around for a substantial amount of time," she told Mashable.

Bahbah, who is grateful that she didn't post about her most recent breakup, echoes this sentiment: "I think so many people have had their heart broken from publicly launching their partners and then breaking up and then everyone knowing that you've broken up."

The trend of no-launching a relationship on Instagram is indicative of a wider shift towards using social media in a more private and aloof manner. Gone are the days of adopting vibrant aesthetics and having hundreds of grid posts. Instead, photo dumps and blank profiles have made the platform more effortless and lowkey. According to Kim Garcia, a Meta representative, younger Instagram users have an aversion to permanence and digital footprints and are using the app more discreetly.

Perhaps younger social media users have been able to witness the harms of oversharing online from their predecessors. Whether it be deleted photos resurfacing on the web or cringeworthy tweets emerging from years before, being private on public platforms produces a level of safety for social media users. "It comes down to just wanting this part of your life to be private. People are obsessed with social media now; everything is online, and I think that is something that can be very intrusive in a relationship," Bahbah explains.

Another advantage of no-launching is authenticity. "When you're spending time with your partner, you don't want to spend time with the intention of capturing everything to put online eventually," Bahbah says. Tiffany adds, "Harry and I are partners in real life, and nothing that I could share with an online audience could ever compare to what we have in person."

As the world continues to grapple with the complexities of sharing personal lives on social media, the "No Launch" trend on Instagram offers couples a way to prioritize privacy and protect their relationships from outside influences. By choosing not to post about their significant others, these individuals are reclaiming their right to authenticity and intimacy, free from the pressures and scrutiny that often come with public displays of affection online.