Affairs with multiple partners? Why people get addicted to cheating & lying

Discovering your partner has not just cheated but done so repeatedly with different people elicits a special kind of excruciating betrayal. Experts call this pattern "serial cheating." The deceit and risks to your health are cut so much deeper when it's not an isolated lapse in judgment. So what drives someone to cheat over and over compulsively? Are there early warning signs you can spot to avoid being the next victim?

Psychiatrists say underlying mental health issues like poor impulse control and intimacy problems are often at the root. While serial cheaters struggle with their demons, their actions gamble with trusting partners' hearts and well-being. However, these individuals tend to exhibit certain tendencies that allow more perceptive people to detect the red flags before taking the hit themselves again.

Studies show those who were unfaithful before are three times likelier to do it in their next relationship. Paying attention to how potential mates handle conflicts, conceal devices, and discuss monogamy can reveal their beliefs on fidelity. With professional counseling, serial cheaters can overcome their compulsions. But the betrayed must also look inward at why they stayed with unfaithful partners. Read on for insights from a psychiatrist on spotting the warnings early and recovering self-esteem after affairs. Infidelity often motivates positive change in both people, if handled with care and wisdom.

Partners exhibiting poor impulse control could be more inclined towards cheating and lying about their activities. According to Dr. Ratush, the urge stems from underlying mental health issues. "This behavior can be driven by poor impulse control, potentially as a symptom of various psychiatric conditions," stated Dr. Ratush. The cheating may seem uncontrollable, almost like an addiction. But people can heal from trauma with proper treatment.

One should watch for partners who frequently hide devices. While everyone needs reasonable privacy, consistent concealment of phones, laptops, or tablets could imply inappropriate communications. Another warning sign is the attitude that cheating does not constitute a serious violation of relationship terms. Statements like "monogamy being overrated" or that infidelity fails to represent a true dealbreaker showcase beliefs permissive of cheating. 

Paying attention to how potential partners interact with family and friends also proves informative. Well-adjusted individuals typically possess several long-term, meaningful bonds in their lives. The presence of fractured ties may indicate broader issues with intimacy and trust. Moreover, an unwillingness to address suspected mental health problems reads as a red flag. 

Discovering a partner's sexual betrayal elicits significant emotional trauma. The foremost reaction should concern personal health and safety. "When cheating is discovered, the first concern should be personal health: stop sexual intimacy immediately to avoid any health risks," advised Dr. Ratush. Though assurances may have been made about protection, one cannot risk potential exposure to infectious diseases. Both parties need testing as soon as possible.  

In the throes of shock, anger and profound hurt, the natural instinct focuses on the lying partner’s flaws. Their chronic issues manifest through deception and repeatedly shattered vows. However easy, assigning total blame overlooks one’s role in enabling toxic patterns. People unconsciously attract certain personality types that mirror unresolved conflicts. As Dr. Ratush noted, the betrayed must critically examine reasons for being entangled with unfaithful mates. Until these roots get addressed, the same themes recur.   

Constructive change requires professional support for both members of a damaged couple. Dr. Ratush strongly recommended engaging in targeted talk and psychiatric therapy for anyone hoping to recover from serial infidelity. The experts at the Infidelity Recovery Institute created a customizable seven-step program to rebuild broken bonds. Each person must first commit to treatment plans aiming for emotional balance and self-awareness. Partners should pause considerations of continuing exclusive relationships until mental health improves—rash choices while distraught often perpetuate existing troubles instead of resolving them.  

Though devastating when discovered, cheating episodes sometimes motivate positive transformation in key areas. With consistent specialized care, people can overcome compulsions and addictions leading to deceit. As Dr. Ratush stated optimistically, “The emotions and honesty that can be brought to light after a cheating episode can become the motivation that helps people commit to elevating their lives.” 

Healing emotional wounds takes time, regardless of the chosen path forward. Self-care while recuperating remains vital to prevent lasting damage to self-esteem and the ability to have future healthy relationships. Confiding in trusted friends and family can relieve isolation when feeling most vulnerable. Their reassurances counteract stirrings of unjustified guilt over a partner’s misdeeds. Local community resources provide additional help. Therapists assist clients in establishing the necessary personal boundaries to avoid falling into codependent dynamics that enable serial cheaters.

With consistent personal work, those scarred by infidelity can regain optimism about connections based on honesty and mutual fulfillment. Each relationship presents an opportunity to actualize positive potential. Signs of prospective partners’ capacity for openness and integrity exist, if subtler than obvious red flags. Paying attention to how they discuss past mistakes, handle conflict, and relate to loved ones offers insight into character. The availability of professional counseling, addiction services, and support groups empowers people to choose partners capable of maintaining fidelity. Healing from betrayal may reshape perspectives on acceptable relationship behavior for the better.