From lists to relationship logs, this is why women track their hookups

In an age where nearly everything is cataloged on our phones, a new trend among millennial women has emerged: keeping a list of everyone they've ever slept with. This practice, while seemingly personal and private, is reportedly quite common.

Many women keep these lists in chronological order, labeling each person with unique identifiers like "leather jacket guy from AllSaints" rather than names. Some women admit they began keeping a list as a means of reflection. "It's a reminder of my past mistakes and my recent glow-up," one woman said. Another commented, "It helps me remember funny stories and important lessons."

Relationship experts suggest that these lists can be useful tools for self-awareness. Dating coach James Preece noted that it's important to ask, "for example, is there a high percentage of partners who were already involved with someone else?" Such analysis could help individuals in planning their future relationships.

For others, the list serves a lighter purpose. "Most of mine don’t have actual names," one user mentioned. "I write little adlibs next to them as a way of reminding myself that dating and sex can be fun and not to take it too seriously." Several noted that these lists are fun to review with friends, akin to a diary or memory prompt.

A few women also note practical uses for the list. Some have referred to it for medical reasons, such as answering questions about their sexual history during doctor's appointments. "I’ve definitely referred to it during GP appointments," Jess, 30, shared. Others, like Anna, 31, find a sentimental purpose in these logs. "I’m engaged now and I’ve just seen that it was last updated in 2020 after my first date with my now-fiancé."

Despite its popularity among women, the trend is less common among men. A male respondent questioned the need for such lists, saying, "Who needs a list of people they’ve shagged? We aren’t at school anymore." However, some men do keep lists, but their reasons vary. Carl, 34, who has a list of everyone he's dated since moving to London, shared that it helps him remember his experiences and the growth he has undergone.

Not everyone sees the benefit in keeping such a list. Some women feel that it could be disrespectful to their current partners or do not wish to remember past encounters. Others view it as a way to avoid embarrassment and uphold a social standard.

The trend, though odd to some, signifies a deeper need to find meaning in personal experiences. As Georgina Sturmer, a counselor, explained, "Just because we have slept with someone and not entered into a relationship doesn’t mean that we don’t feel any sense of fondness about our encounter."

For those who find value in keeping a list, it is more than just names on a phone. It represents a part of their life story, helping them understand their past and make sense of their present relationships. In a world where casual encounters are commonplace, perhaps these lists offer a touch of permanence and reflection.